Those cleats left untouched in the corner, piled with dust. Only worn once. New and ready to be used.The ball is passed to me, i try to dribble it but it is lost from my possession. i used to be an all-star, I used to always have fresh new trick up my sleeve to use against my rivals but that gift is gone now, taken away for taking advantage of it. I didn't use it enough.
My teammates rolled their ayes at me, shot curses at me like bullets and made hand gestures that I new was bad. The list was made with the names of the people who had made the team. Mine, invisible, not on there. Now I am picked last for teams, no one wants me on their team because they know i am destined to make their team a fraud. This year i hope to become a better soccer player and I will work very hard to become a better soccer player.
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This is not enough. Please revise and tell more.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was very good, showed ur teammates' resentment and the reason why you want to be a better player.
ReplyDeleteCan you comment on one of my posts and i found a mistake where u said: and made hand gestures that i new was bad it shouldn't be written new but knew ! and the rest is of your story is interesting and i hope you have more luck being a better soccer player!
ReplyDeleteHey Mikkel
ReplyDeleteI like yours because you make it is very important to you. A good thing I can suggest to you to improve it is put a line break when you said about no making the team.
It was good.
I like how you list a bunch of ideas and put them together to support your point! Great job! Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteGreat Work!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Anna. I like the part when you said,"Mine, invisible, not on there" It made me understand better.
There was a few spelling mistakes, but other than that I think its good :D
Hope you become a better soccer player, even though you still are :)
made hand gestures that new were bad :P nice way of covering up what u wanted to say
ReplyDeleteIsn't it supposed to be a poem?
ReplyDeleteJust sayin`